The Roseneath Post

 Hi everyone. I hope you have survived the storm. We are still without power but I found a work around to post.

 A couple of weeks ago I sent an email talking about the possibility of creating a fictional Newspaper about a town/township. In a burst of creativity I have written some articles.

The Roseneath Post

Your Local News Source

Mysterious Post Holes Appear 

September 1 2022

Over the past few days mysterious post holes have popped up in the middle of roads throughout the township. The holes are uniformly 3 feet deep and 8 inches wide. Please be aware of them when you are walking or riding. Please steer your dogs away from them so they don’t fall into the hole. The Township offices were engaged for a comment. Susie Q Parker, Town Clerk, is mystified. “These holes have been brought to our attention. We have called the police and they are investigating. It’s costing the township thousands of dollars in our efforts to fix them. We will file charges to recover costs once we discover who is perpetrating this deed. Please call the tip hotline 888 920-1340 if you have any information.

Cedar Posts: The Mysterious Post Hole Mystery Continues

September 8 2022

Mysterious post hole story from last week has a new twist this week. It seems the post holes are now being filled with cedar posts rising about four feet from the ground. Rusty Post, no relation, was driving his Ford pickup one morning last week when he slammed into one. “T was the damnedest thing I have ever seen. A fence post in the middle of the road.“ It has been rumoured that the township has inserted the posts in the road to ensure that drivers stay on their own side of the road while driving, a claim that Suzue Q Parker, vehemently denies. “That is insane," she is quoted as saying, "People can drive on whichever side of the road that pleases them.” This statement led some township folks to comment on her decidedly English accent.

Mysterious Posts: A New Bird Farm?

September 15 2022

In the latest twist in the post holes in the middle of the road saga, an unknown individual has now affixed birdhouses to the cedar posts that keep popping up all over the township roads. One resident applauded the move saying that the birds all need somewhere to live. “There is enough homelessness in our township without leaving the animals to fend for themselves.” Suzie Q Parker, the Township Clerk commented. “We are not against bird houses per se but we really want to stop whoever is putting the posts in the middle of the road. We encourage all residents to report any sightings of holes to our hotline.” When asked if there have been tips the Clerk grew tight lipped and stalked away.

Mysterious Posts: A Refreshing Paint Job

September 22 2022

The post hole in the middle of the road saga took another mysterious turn this week. Prior to now it had been random post holes with posts and then birdhouses affixed to the posts in the middle of the road. Now it seems that someone has painted all the posts in rainbow colours. In a recent survey township residents commented, “I think the rainbow colors are better than just the regular color of posts. At least you can see them from a distance. It brightens up the countryside.“

Township Clerk Suzie Q Parker was incensed at the support the residents are giving to the post holes. “As fast as we take them out they are replaced and then more are added. It is like there is a conspiracy to defund the township. This is insane. It has to stop or taxes will be going up.” A local pundit opined “Suzie Q Parker is doing this to keep her job.”

Mysterious Posts Now Light Up The Night.

September 29 2022

In another twist to the post hole saga it has been discovered that many of the posts now have solar lights attached to them. “I like it ,” said a local. “They provide guidance on my drive home from the legion.“ A rumour was started by a resident that the township was putting pinwheel energy generators on the posts. The wind from the passing cars would lower the energy bills of all residents.

When asked about this latest development Township Clerk Suzie Q Parker stammered “Someone has too much time on their hands,” A follow up question about the pinwheel energy generators had her saying, “Are you serious,” before she stalked away in a huff. “I’ve got better things to do than comment on post holes and pinwheel energy generators.“

Mysterious Posts: Scab at work

October 6 2022

Early this morning Township Clerk Suzie Q Parker was spotted by a local resident ripping the starter on her chainsaw, upping the battle concerning the placement of posts in the middle of the road. “Enough is enough,” she is quoted as saying as she ripped into the first of many posts that line our Township roads.”Someone has to do something about it and it might as well be me,” she reflected. Her comments inflamed the newly formed local Union Of Public Employees. “We are pleased that her comments have caused the union to form but we will be filing a grievance against Ms Parker as she is using scab labour to complete township work.”

Ms. Parker’s terse response was no comment as she loaded the post into the back of her pick up truck. A further no comment was received when she was asked about what she was going to do with the sawed off posts. Shorty Post opined that maybe she was reusing them and we should watch township roads for further evidence.

Mysterious Posts: Road Repairs

October 13 2022

In the latest development the Township clerk Suzie Q Parker resigned this morning citing fatigue and an underwhelming amount of support for her trying to discover who was putting the posts in the middle of the road. “I don’t have time for this nonsense," she snapped as she towed her fully loaded log hauler behind her truck out of the civic center parking lot. Ms Parker's whereabouts are unknown at this time.

In other news road repairs are at an all time high. Township residents are pleased with this development. “I think we have some of the best roads in the county replied Eileen Post. “Those posts have really inspired us to make everything around them look A one.”

As a side note the township’s new clerk, Agatha Butterbottom, has posted a document requesting that residents sign up for a mile of road responsibility. Residents laughed saying they were already improving in front of their property. Why would they take on someone elses responsibility?

A New Angle In The Mysterious Posts Saga

December 3 2022

In a new development it has been discovered after the latest snowstorm that township roads are clear of snow. When asked, Public works said they are stumped. “We sent our plows and sanders out. Within minutes reports were coming back that there was no snow to be plowed or roads to be sanded. It appeared to be disappearing as quickly as it fell.” Indeed another mystery about our township roads has caused residents to be joyful. “Now it would be helpful if the township extended this pleasure to its residents. But for now I am thankful that I don't have to plow out the end of my driveway every time a plow passes by.” said Hilda Post as she swept the snow from her front porch. When asked for comment the township had no idea why this was occurring. This simple response led some residents to speculate that the pin wheel energy generators were powering electrical lines that ran under the roads.

Township Office Closed

June 2 2023

In a recent development the Provincial Government closed the Township Office today. The Premier reflected that the township residents were doing such a fine job of looking after the infrastructure that the township no longer needed to exist. “Now that is true grassroots involvement in the township.” he opined. When asked more directly why he was doing this he said it was a cost cutting measure and stated that he was proud of the residents for taking on this responsibility. At the backyard barbecue event he chugged his buck a beer to show his support of their hard work.

In other news front yard libraries have been popping up all over the township. Residents are perplexed about when it occurred but are throwing their weight behind it. Ima Story, a long time resident, reflected this sentiment. “We need more reading in our township.” The Library CEO was asked about this new initiative. “I wish I had thought of it,” she lamented. “I think it is a great thing if people read more. Hopefully they won’t forget that we are here for them.”

The Post is wondering if there are other initiatives that are popping up. Let us know what you have seen.

Advice on Writing from C.S. Lewis

 

 

TO A SCHOOLGIRL IN AMERICA, who had written (at her teacher's suggestion) to request advice on writing.

14 December 1959

It is very hard to give any general advice about writing.  Here's my attempt.

(1) Turn Off the Radio.

(2) Read all the good books you can and avoid nearly all magazines.

(3) Always write (and read) with the ear, not the eye. You should hear every sentence you write as if it was being read aloud or spoken. If it does not sound nice, try again.

(4) Write about what really interests you. whether it is real things or imaginary things, and nothing else. (Notice this means that if you are interested only in writing you will
never be a writer, because you will have nothing to write about)

(5) Take great pains to be clear. Remember that though you start by knowing what you mean, the reader doesn't, and a single ill-chosen word may lead him to a total misunderstanding. In a story it is terribly easy just to forget that you have not told the reader something that he wants to know. The whole picture is so clear in your own mind that you forget that it isn't the same in

(6) When you give up a bit of work don't (unless it is hopelessly bad) throw it away. put it in a drawer. It may come in useful later. Much of my best work, Or what I think my best, is the rewriting of things begun and abandoned years earlier.

(7) Be Sure you know the meaning (Or meanings) Of every word you use. 

C.S. Lewis

Hook, Line & Sinker

 

by Nancy Nelson 

It was one of those rare spring days. The lake was a sheet of glass with not a hint of breeze or wind.  A clear blue sky was overhead and the sun was trying to break through a fine fog rising from the surface of the water. If you could describe an April day as glorious, this day was glorious!  April had been a roller coaster month for weather. There had been some perfect sunny warm days that you would expect later in the spring; there had been days of light snowfall and days of freezing rain, and lots of typical days of April showers ahead of May flowers.  But today was just a perfect day to be out on the lake!

Isidoro had gotten lucky once again. His television show would air on May 10…opening day of walleye season. The gods were with him this April morning.

At the public boat launch, he spoke rather sternly to his camera crew. “As you are aware, this episode is all about walleye fishing. The season on this lake begins May 10 so we are a bit ahead of time. I want this episode to coincide with the opening day but I am not willing to pay fines if the conservation officer happens to be out on the lake checking everyone’s catches and licenses. So far, we appear to have this part of the lake to ourselves.”

Isidoro looked deliberately at Fabio, Emilio, Enzo and Claudio. Fabio usually manned one boat with Emilio on camera and Enzo would steer boat number two while Claudio manned the second camera. “Fabio and Enzo, you must keep your eyes open to our surroundings and give us enough warning if you see any sign of game wardens. How about two quick whistles as soon as you see another boat approach?  We need to get our rods, spears and nets pulled in and away before the game warden pulls up on us.” Isidoro had been caught and fined several years prior when he had filmed episodes out of season. To be successful with his show, timing was everything so he had to bend the rules a little bit. How much interest would his show generate if all the fishing competitions were over before his show aired? His sponsors would dry up completely. He counted on their financial sponsorship as well as all the latest angling gear he was given to promote. Endorsements and sponsorship were invaluable.

Isidoro knew live bait such as minnows and night-crawlers increased the chances of getting bites but today Rapala was paying the wages for himself and his crew. He’d make them proud and do whatever it took to make Rapala look superior, thus the net and spear in the bottom of the boat.

Hook, Line & Sinker Cont'd

 

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Prompt by: https://artofflashfiction.substack.com/p/with-gratitude-15-prompts-to-get 

The suitcases stood piled one on top of the other in the corner of the room. They had been there as long as any of us could remember.  We noticed them everytime we visited Grandpa. 

Grandpa popped open his small suitcase and removed the money we had been talking about. 

“It is but a loan,” he was reminded by me.

“It is a gift Denyce” he replied. “I am not worried about it. If you must repay it, find a way to give it to someone else, someone who may need it.”

“Thank you Grandpa,” I replied. “I will take care of that.”

Over the years Grandpa had helped out me and my siblings in a number of ways. While my siblings were curious about the suitcases they soon dismissed them as part of the scenery, useful only when he was able to provide something for them. However I found that there was something quite fascinating about their existence and sought information whenever I could. Sometimes he was willing to share the information and at other times he was secretive.. 

Little did I know that this would not be the last time I saw the suitcases. My Grandfather? Unfortunately it was the last time I talked to him.

A few days after his passing his legacies were handed out. Tom and Angie were given some mementos.  

“So this is your inheritance,” my brother growled as he eyed the suitcases that I had carefully stacked in the corner of the room, consciously copying my Grandfather’s way of displaying them. “It’s better than what we got, which is not much.” he grumbled as only he could. 

“Although I don't think what you got is any better. A dusty old set of suitcases.” snarled Angie. “He did pull things out of them from time to time.” 

“I find it interesting that he left them to me.”

“It doesn’t surprise us,” stated my sister. “It was always clear that you were his favourite.”

“Now that you own them, what are you going to do with them?” asked my brother Tom. 

“I haven’t given it much thought,” I replied cautiously. I wasn’t sure how much they were aware of how valuable they were to Grandfather. They never asked questions and often took his generosity for granted.

Angie grabbed the top suitcase and opened it. “The magic must have worn off with the old man,” she reflected with a touch of sadness. I looked over her shoulder and saw a ticket on top of a set of vacation clothes. Angie closed the suitcase with a snap. “There is nothing there. These are worthless.” It seems she hadn’t noticed the ticket or the clothes.

Tom picked up the next smallest and flipped open the suitcase. “Nothing here either,” he reflected. As I glimpsed over his shoulder I could see a cheque with the name of a charity familiar to me stamped on it. The amount on the cheque was eye opening. I looked at Tom and Angie with a glimmer of why I had received my inheritance. 

“He was never very forthcoming with these past the one time he pulled a cheque out of one for my education,” said Angie with some regret. “I could use the money now to help pay for my house.”

“I know that when mom was sick he opened this one here,” Tom said pointing to the largest suitcase, “and a Doctor popped out to examine her.” he paused in thought. “I always wondered how the doctor fit into the suitcase.”

“That truly was amazing,” added Angie. “It’s too bad the magic is gone.”

Tom had opened the suitcase anyway in a last desperate look for something he could use. I noticed a pile of books with a letter on the top. “Another empty suitcase. It’s too bad you inherited something so worthless,” he said with a saddened laugh as he closed the lid. “The things these suitcases could have done for you.”

“Yeah,” I intoned, trying to keep my voice neutral. “The thought was nice but you’re right. The secrets of how it works died with him. Too bad,”  and with that I was forced to look away. Before too long they had had enough of a visit and left. I love my brother and sister dearly but we have a strong difference of opinion on many topics. I wasn’t sad to see them go.

My mind drifted back to the suitcases. The vacation clothes and a ticket were obvious. I was going somewhere. I passed them by to look at the cheque next. One of my Grandpa’s favourite pastimes was helping out the seniors at the retirement residence. Many people he grew up with ended up there while he met others through his visits. He had indicated that he was going to help them out. The cheque would take care of their needs for a while. I would see to it that later they got more. 

However when Tom opened the larger suitcase I noticed a letter and some books. I put the suitcase on the bed and sprung the locks as I was quite interested in what the letter had to say.

Denyce,

If you are reading this letter then my time has passed and now it is clearly your time. It was clear to me that you saw more in the suitcases than your brother and sister did. I was told long ago there was something about purity of intent that responded to the suitcases. They are a forever object. I understand that through the years they have maintained some shape similar to what they look like now.

First, do not use the suitcases to try to resurrect me. It won't happen. I know this from personal experience.

As you are aware, each suitcase has a special talent. To access the talent, open the suitcase. Each suitcase has its own wisdom. While these specialties may change with your inheritance, mine were:

1. The smallest is a bank. As long as you are frugal about yourself it will provide the money you need, both for yourself but more importantly for your endeavours. Think of it. If the suitcase approves it will provide the money.

2. The second suitcase is for special gifts. You think of something and it appears. It has saved me quite a bit of money over the years. As a warning, be careful. Don’t overdo it. Sometimes the suitcases get cranky if they think  you are going too far.

3. The third is for continuing your learning. Open it up from time to time. There will be surprises there for your continued learning. Sometimes there is money. Sometimes there are books or lessons. Sometimes it is a question. Or a warning. And other times it is simply materials to be read to foster more thought. 

4. The fourth is for information about your past families. Think of a question and receive an answer. Sometimes though, it is better to not know some of the details.

5. The fifth is to help you when you are in times of trouble. If you open it other times nothing will be there. You don’t need help.

6. The last and largest suitcase is the one that I have named undefinable. As Tom will have noted it is the one the Dr came out of when your mom was sick. Other things have appeared from time to time. Suffice it to say that it is the one that may meet your needs, or it may not. It appears to be fickle that way. 

As you are reading this note you have opened the largest suitcase. Along with the note there should be four books.  Each book has a skill you must master to get the most out of the suitcases. These are not the same books I was given upon my inheritance but I think that you will find them useful. Usually these books would be found in the third suitcase. There must be some importance to them. Tread carefully in your thoughts. 

I set his letter down and looked at the books. Only one I was familiar with. The Gift of the Magi was an interesting choice. I am sure there was some understanding I needed. I had heard about the Midnight Library but had not read it. Next was Illusions. I wonder how magic is a part of the plan. My Grandfather must have sensed something I needed when he chose the last book: Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action. It was the one I looked forward to reading the most.

I picked up the letter again.

You are destined for great things. Keep your head straight and many successes will follow. 

Forever

Love

Grandfather

I set the books on the nightstand and removed the cheque to the seniors home before repiling the suitcases as I had always remembered them. I would have to give some thought towards other ways to memorialize my grandfather. Keeping up with the seniors was a good start.

A few days later I was admiring the picture in the newspaper of me presenting the cheque to the seniors home. It brought tears to my eyes. The Seniors home was considering naming a hallway after my grandfather, It was so nice of them to recognize his generosity. 

There was a rather loud and insistent knock on my door. As I opened it Tom and Angie pushed their way inside and turned to confront me. 

“Where did the cheque come from?” demanded Tom. “It wasn’t in the suitcase the other day when we were here.”

“It was Grandfather’s wish to have it delivered to the Seniors home so I delivered it.”

“You could have asked us to accompany you. He was our grandfather too,” continued Angie.

“Yes, I could have but it was Grandfather’s wish for me to deliver it.”

“Did he leave you a message in the suitcases?” demanded Tom.

I didn’t want to answer him but at the same time there was no way I was going to be deceitful. “There were items in the suitcases. You didn’t see them.”

“I knew it!” shrieked Angie. She looked at Tom with a smirk in her eye. “We want our share,” she started.

“Your share? There is no share. Grandfather left them to me.”

“No,” she said calmly. “You misunderstand. We want you to use the suitcases to provide us with what we need.” 

“I think you misunderstand. I have no control over the suitcases. They provide if they choose to and only if they choose to. I cannot demand anything from them any more than you can.”

“You’re kidding/”

“Nope. Wait a minute,” I left them in the living room and retrieved the smallest suitcase. As I returned to the living room I explained, “This suitcase provides money. Ask it for what you want.”

“I want enough money to pay off my mortgage,” requested Angie. 

“Open it,” I said.  

“No, you open it. It is yours.” 

I reached over and tripped the locks. The lid flipped open and a piece of paper flew out. I picked it up and read it. I handed it to Angie. Tom looked over her shoulder and read it. 

There will never be any money for Tom and Angie. 

That was it. Short and simple. “It appears the suitcase has spoken.” 

Tom reached over and threw the suitcase to the floor where he proceeded to stomp on it. “There. No money for Denyce either,” he smirked. 

“C’mon Tom,’ said a wary Angie. With that they both headed out the door. 

I walked over and locked it before turning my attention to the suitcase. It lay shattered on the floor giving little spasms of life. I watched amazed, as it slowly reformed its size and shape. Once it was complete the lid popped open and another note flew out. 

As your Grandfather wrote, we are indestructible. 

PS it may be time to move. Read your books and make decisions wisely.

Knowledge is power. Apparently I had the power. Who knew?